Review: Oscar Nominations! Are you F-ing Kidding Me?

The Oscar nominations are out. They came out like last week or so, I'm just getting to it now. Beggars can't be choosers so shut it.
Again, I told you so. Actually I get a couple of 'I told you so's.'

First I predicted the Oscars were going to be boring and the award show is well on its way to Lamesville with these nominations. I'm not saying I don't agree with some of the nominations. But they're not inspiring, are they? Case in point Frank Langella is nominated for best "performance by an actor in a leading role" for Frost/Nixon aka Face/Off. I can be down with that, I like Frank, I mean he was Skeletor for god's sake. He has come a long way from playing the physical incarnation of all the evil in the universe to playing Nixon. (That joke is for all the hippies that read my blog. I could have been a writer for the Smothers Brothers with that one.) But overall boring, safe, forgettable movies were nominated and that does not translate to an exciting show. Come on Academy, get it together! I mean come on!

So, if you haven't yet, you should take a look at my review of The Wrestler, because the nomination of Marissa Tomei is, well, interesting. Again, I told you so. Academy voters love actresses to play hussies. They love it. It's such a stretch for an actress to act like a slut. That was mean.

If you're a dude and want an Oscar, play a famous dead guy or a handicapped person. Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke respectively. Or, on the other hand if you are a female you need to play a perpetually naked whore or be Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep and Meryl Streep respectively. I just keep waiting for the Oscars to take some chances and reward the influential films and filmmakers for the right films in the right year, instead of doing it retroactively years later for lesser work. (Look up Martin Scorsese and see what I mean.) It's like a make up foul a referee calls in a game for a bad call they made earlier. That is not right. It's pretty lame and... I should stop caring.

Some more notable noms:

The Reader got a few Nominations including best picture. All of the Mary Kay Letourneau's out there are getting together and throwing a party Oscar night. I would go but I'm too old.

I feel Angelina Jolie's Nomination for Changeling came about like this:
Academy President: 'We're nominating Marisa Tomei again? Angelina is not going to be happy about this..."

Some time in the near future I'll give my predictions. Hope you look forward to it! I'm not.