Happy Memorial Day: Bill Murray's Speech From 'Stripes' and 'Scott Pilgrim' Trailer

As you throw back a couple of hot dogs and beers today, remember those who have given their lives in service to this great country of ours. I like to celebrate with one of my favorite speeches from the movie Stripes, where Bill Murray rally's his troops with an impetuous, yet inspiring, speech about being an American solider.

"It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world." I really hate how the second half of this movie turns into "Full Metal Jacket" with a RV future-weapon. It's like if the frat from Animal House all end up in Vietnam at the end.

This was not a good Idea.

And in a holiday non sequitur, they have released the first full length trailer for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I'm calling it now... One: this will be the hit of the summer, mostly because this summer it shaping up to be pretty lame. Two: This movie is a game changer, we will see imitators in the near future.

Dennis Hopper: 1936-2010

Dennis Hopper died Today at the age of 74 and he definitely lived one hell of a life. Not only was he an accomplished actor (I'm going to list some movies off here: Rebel Without a Cause, Giant, Easy Rider, Andy Warhol's Screen Tests, True Grit, Apocalypse Now, Hoosiers, Blue Velvet, True Romance, Speed and don't forget he was King Koopa In Super Mario Brothers) Dennis was also a prolific painter and photographer. He might have been "a pain in the neck to work with" (according to David Thomson) but he was an artist that Hollywood badly needed and I doubt anyone will be able to fill the void that his death leaves behind.

Dennis Hopper has a lot of famous and memorable scenes from a long list of good movies but my favorite line of all time comes from Blue Velvet.

It was between this and "Pop-quiz hotshot!"

My Favorite Monologues: Say Anything: Sell, Buy, Process

If there was a speech that epitomized the stereotypes attached to Generation X it is La-Lloyd Dobler's explanation of his future plans to Diane Court's father. But this monologue from Say Anything is also the voice of the idyllic youth that resides in all of us. When I first saw this movie I thought "That's what I want to do too! Except for the kick boxing thing." Lloyd, in a very ballsy move, lays his heart on the table in a innocent, straightforward way that we all wish we could sometimes do. I have quoted it ever since.

Hey, remember Ione Skye? Pretty hot nerd.

My Favorite Monologues: The Goonies: This Is Our Time

Get excited readers because The Anthropomorphic Critic is bringing you a new feature! I will be sharing some of my favorite monologues from my favorite movies, in no particular order... because that would take some sort of planing.

We all need a little inspiration now and then, so to kick it off is a gem from The Goonies where Mikey convinces the other Goonies (even Andy who says she's not a Goonie) to not be rescued by future-date-rapist Troy and continue with their adventure. Who knew an asthmatic could give such a compelling speech?

"Troy's Bucket" sounds like one of those things, you know, like a "Rusty Trombone" or a "Mexican Halloween."

The Lost Finale Reviewed by a Guy Who Only Watched The First Season

I watched the Lost finale last night. It was the first time I had seen an episode of Lost since the end of season one. I know, I know, it's like I planned it, right? Anyway here's my review: I don't get it.

Just Kidding. I got it. Apparently I understood the finale of Lost better than most "Losties" or "Lost Folk" according to their comments and tweets. Some didn't understand the church or the ending at all. This might be because I'm coming into it with a blank slate. That, and I don't have any sort of theories that I have been obsessing over for six years that turned out to be totally wrong.

Honestly though, I wish one of the mysteries of Lost was what my fiancee has always said was on the island (and I secretly hoped was true): Mechanical dinosaurs. How much cooler is a mechanical dinosaur than a smoke monster? Way cooler.

I will tell you here I like the show (remember I've only seen the first season and the finale). I like it mainly because it was different, defyingly so. And I respect that more than any answered questions or loose ends.

Here's some highlights:

The "Final Transmissions" that played during the finale of people saying goodbye to the show really depressed me. Especially the one about the couple who picked their wedding date based on the sum of the numeric code. I really could have done without this information or any of these people's goodbyes. Keep it to yourself, nerds.

I just found out who Jacob is. I instantly don't like him, he's kinda a douche.

Locke's been an evil smoke monster for two seasons? Now I'm glad I didn't watch season five.

It's 9:20 pm and I have no idea what's going on.

I hate vague dialog. Whenever a character had an "awakening" they start talking like a Scientologists. It's really annoying.

Around 10:00 pm I start to wonder if the finale is answering all the questions Lost fans have. I also need another beer.

How did Ben get out from under the fallen tree? He seems ok too. Wouldn't he be kinda hurt, like spinally?

The "Hell Cork" is pretty lame. I would like to hear a good argument in support of the Hell Cork because I can't imagine anybody liking that thing. Might as well of been one of those bathtub stoppers or a bottle cap.

I liked the resolution of the "flash-sideways." It seems to be a good and encompassing explanation to what was going on with this alternate reality. An eternal meeting place is a nice idea and it's made even better by not being on the island. It's not purgatory and that makes me happy.

How come I had to watch Jimmy Kimmel Live to find out where the hell Michael was? The only funny "alternate ending" was the Bob Newhart one. Mainly because I like Bob Newhart.

Overall I thought thought is was a solid finale that left you with a feeling of closure for the show even though it didn't answer every question or tie up all the loose ends. I'm just assuming though, I only watched the first season. I'm now off to read some Lost slash/fan fiction where Locke and Ben end up together and open a resort on the island. With mechanical dinosaurs.

C'mon! You know this would have been awesome. Rrrrrawwwwwor!

A Video of Orphaned Sloths. You heard me.

Sloth in a box

Sloths are one of my favorite animals. Here is an irresistible video of sloths being slothy and adorable.

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

Television is a Drug

...And don't I know it. Todd Alcott's poem Television gets the video treatment by Beth Fulton. It's pretty straight forward...no, don't look over there, look at me...now! (via Vimeo)

Television is a drug. from Beth Fulton on Vimeo.

Better Watch Your Back Arizona, Danny Trejo is Pissed:The Machete Trailer

It seems Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniqui's new Mexplotation film Machete could not have had better timing in releasing it's first official trailer. Arizona's new (racist) anti illegal immigration law has given this faux Grindhouse movie a new socially relevant political slant. Whoever came up with the opening of this trailer (hopefully Danny Trejo) is a genius.

So sit back and enjoy the first official Trailer to Machete, staring Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert DeNiro, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Rose McGowan, Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez and Steven Seagal. Happy Cinco De Mayo!

(Via TDW)

In sadder news, They are making a new Die Hard. Remember how Live Free or Die Hard wasn't really a Die Hard film at all? It was just an unrelated story with a character whose name was also John McClane. It also didn't have blood or swear words. Let's hope this one at least has swear words. Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.

A Grab Bag Of Fun! Music! Movies! Video Games! Beer!

I've been away from the Internet lately and when I got back to it I found some awesome, um, stuff to share with you all!

First off one of my favorite bands The New Pornographers have a new album, "Together", coming out and NPR has it streaming for freeeeeeeeeeeee right now. You need to listen now. It's a doubly good link because it's free!

You like a little Super Mario Bros, you say? Well Then you will like Super Mario Brothers Crossover where you can play as other famous NES characters like Link. I have always wanted to play those levels a Mega Man and now I can. Thanks Internet!

I am a big supporter of beer and beer innovations and I hope to someday see this inspired beer bottle in the alcohol isle at my local supermarket. It is so fun and beery. The cap is like the sudsy head of a beer! How Cool is that? It's really effen cool (via)

"Please import me i want to come to America"

Last but not least...

You might have already seen this viral video from Pixar promoting Toy Story 3 featuring the new character Lots O' Huggin' Bear but it's worth another look. This 80's commercial parody is so spot on I have created false memories from my childhood about actually seeing this commercial and owning one of those bears. But I didn't, right?

Oh, and they also did a Japanese version as well, because they are Pixar and they can do anything.

Trailer: Dinner For Schmucks

Steve Carell and Paul Rudd Star in the new Jay Roach film Dinner For Schmucks and here is the trailer for it. The film coming out this summer looks like it has potential to be funny. Having Zach Galifianakis in the film helps a lot in getting me in the theater.

Best dinner ever

Music Video: "My White Friends" - Duece Poppi

You have to watch this now! Stop reading this sentence! Watch! Now!

Hanging with white friends = sky diving, skate/wake boarding, and keg stands

I also like how Duece rhymed "Travis Barker" with "Bob Barker."

If this doesn't become the most requested song at the University of Northern Iowa I will be shocked.

Movie Poster Reviews: Furry Vengeance, Prince Of Persia, Harry Brown

Prince Of Persia: Sands Of Time

Maybe it's me but this looks like a complete joke to me. This poster seems like one of those fake movie posters that line the walls in Tracy Jordan's dressing room on 30 Rock.

I always laugh at those and I initially laughed at this poster too. "Haha." I thought, "That's a good one, Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince of Persia...Oh, wait...This isn't a spoof?" Also, am I to assume that his arch-nemesis is Gandhi? I was going crazy waiting for the next movie based on a video game to come out, thanks Disney!

Furry Vengeance

I can't be the only one who thinks this movie is about Brendan Fraser being tortured and rapped by people in animal costumes, can I? I mean, it's all there in the image, title and tag line...right?

Harry Brown

Michael Caine is older than the Wizard of OZ but somehow epitomises the words "cool" and "bad-ass" while still being English. Too bad they had to Photoshope (the English spelling) his head onto that body in this poster. I need to find out what this movie is about....hey, look at these photos I came across instead! Told you he was cool.

Pow!

Pew! Pew!

Oh, in the movie, he plays an old bad-ass. Pretty much what I guessed.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I'm pretty Irish but you don't need to be Irish to enjoy St. Patrick's Day. St Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland and we in America celebrate by dying everything green, wearing green outfits and drinking green 'till we vomit green. When I was a kid it was a chance to pinch people without any consequences from adults or the people you pinched. Hey, they should have been wearing green, I'm just doing my job, it's tradition. Here's some Irish-ness to help Irish up your Saint Patty's day.

Eat: Corned Beef and Cabbage and a Potato.

Get those carrots out of there!

It's easy. Just boil the cabbage, boil the potato, corn the beef. It's delic-Irish!(Sorry that's kind of a stretch. I'm a little tipsy.)

Drink: Black and Tans

It's my favorite mistake. It's so Irish to take the name of a notorious band of soldiers and turn it into a drink.

An Irish Car Bomb is also acceptable for St. Patrick's day but it's also an open endorsement for the IRA. Oh! And Irish coffee. Those are good too. If you want to make anything "Irish" just add alcohol.

Tell Irish Jokes:

An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question? "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.

Q: How do you get ten Irishmen out of a pool?

A:Beer

Watch: Darby O'Gill and the Little People

Those people are little!

Listen to: Flogging Molly

Rebels Of The Sacred Heart - F...

On St. Patrick's day everybody is Irish. And by Irish I mean drunk.

Breathless Is Back In Theaters

Jean-Luc Godard's French new wave classic Breathless is coming back into theaters this spring. It will be premiering at Graumans's Chinese Theater in Los Angeles at the end of April and then in New York and the rest of the nation in May. If you have seen Breathless before or if you haven't seen it yet I recommend seeing it on the big screen. This is art people! Put down your Netflix copy of Did You Hear About The Morgans? and go see this film!

Humphrey Bogart? Awesome.

Bonus YouTube clip "Cycles." You know, just for the hell of it.

Not Safe For Work Saturday: Bunnies, Logos & A Round Thing In Your Face

It's Not Safe For Work Saturday, people. Which should be cool because I'm guessing most of you are not at work.

Just for the record, this first video is also not safe for kids or grandmas. So with that said, here is (an animated) Kyle Kinane telling a strangely uplifting story about naughty bunnies.

Remember: No babies will die today

If you watched the Oscars and were paying attention you would have noticed two things. One: I totally did not guess the Best Film correctly, sorry about that. Two: The winner of the Best Animated short was called Logorama. Not surprisingly it not for kids and is a real kick in the pants. Wanna see it? Sure you do.

A friend brought this screenshot to my attention. I think it speaks for itself.

Yep, it's what you think it is.