I'm pretty Irish but you don't need to be Irish to enjoy St. Patrick's Day. St Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland and we in America celebrate by dying everything green, wearing green outfits and drinking green 'till we vomit green. When I was a kid it was a chance to pinch people without any consequences from adults or the people you pinched. Hey, they should have been wearing green, I'm just doing my job, it's tradition. Here's some Irish-ness to help Irish up your Saint Patty's day.
Eat: Corned Beef and Cabbage and a Potato.
Get those carrots out of there!
It's easy. Just boil the cabbage, boil the potato, corn the beef. It's delic-Irish!(Sorry that's kind of a stretch. I'm a little tipsy.)
Drink: Black and Tans
It's my favorite mistake. It's so Irish to take the name of a notorious band of soldiers and turn it into a drink.
An Irish Car Bomb is also acceptable for St. Patrick's day but it's also an open endorsement for the IRA. Oh! And Irish coffee. Those are good too. If you want to make anything "Irish" just add alcohol.
Tell Irish Jokes:
An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question? "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
Q: How do you get ten Irishmen out of a pool?
A:Beer
Watch: Darby O'Gill and the Little People
Those people are little!
Listen to: Flogging Molly
On St. Patrick's day everybody is Irish. And by Irish I mean drunk.
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