It's Friday and you ain't got shit to do...

Need some "me time" in front of the computer? The office and family driving you crazy? Well, just stop working on that PowerPoint presentation, put the kids to bed and tell the husband or wife that you have a headache because I got some Internet goodies for you. You deserve a break.

Zoolander 2 in the works ...No Owen Wilson is mentioned. Maybe it's because it's been a decade since the first Zoolander. How long is a male model's shelf life?

Here is another tilt-shift video because I'm a sucker for this stuff...This one is all over the NYC. Just watch it, you'll wish the world was this damn cute.

The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

I was just recently reminded of one of my favorite song covers of all time. Ben Folds performing "Bitches Ain't Shit". NSFW Lyrics... I shouldn't have to warn you about that.

Zach Galifianakis, um, interviews (?) Author John Wray. You don't need to know who John Wray is to find this funny(He wrote the novel Lowboy about a 16-year-old schizophrenic. I haven't read it yet, I have blogs to write). Book jokes, they're the best!

Hey! For those of you in the L.A. area, they are turning billboards into art next month! Keep an eye out for them. Here's a map. Gotta see 'em all!

I like it when something I hate turns into something good. Not the other way around, like with Mike Myers.

What I Talk About When I Talk About The Academy Awards

The Academy Awards' media frenzy has been growing and I think that actually does more harm than good. All this talk of Oscar "front runners" always leads to disaster. Think Titanic and Crash...then think of a joke involving an iceberg. Anyway I didn't want to go and add my snarky two cents on predictions and snubs because...well I didn't have a good reason, let's just say laziness. I sometimes find the Oscars predictable and uninspired. Why would I want to add anything to the media firestorm? But a few things a have been brought to my attention that I just had to address and perhaps, just perhaps, I can influence some of you out there.

1) There will be NO best song Performances this year.

Dear Academy,

What? You have nominated two Disney songs from The Princess and the Frog, one Broadway hit song from Nine and the Golden Globe winning theme to Crazy Heart and you aren't going to to give them a chance to perform? Are you scared the show might get entertaining if you allow them to perform the songs live? Your friend, TAC

The songs will reportedly be played with movie clips instead. And that's just brilliant because everybody knows that the clips and montages that play at the Oscars are so good. Oh, wait, that's right, they are usually awkward and confusing. For some reason they pick the most random clips and scenes from the nominated films that make no sense to anybody, even if you have seen the movie. But lets just hit play on your bejeweled ipod and let the songs play over some lame clip show because that's worth sitting through 4+ hours for. No. No. No. This will be the first and last year the Oscars are doing this. Remember this blogger, Academy, because I totally told you so.

2) Avatar will not win best picture or best director.

It won't. It might have helped evolve cinema to new visual heights but it took a nosedive in the writing, acting and editing department. The Hurt Locker might win, maybe... the Brits liked it at the BAFTA awards. Inglorious Basterds, perhaps... it's been getting a lot of lip service lately. I am rooting for Up In The Air but I haven't heard anybody say peep about that movie being a contender.

Side rant: These writers, bloggers and critics have to remember how susceptible these Hollywood types are. If you write about how "hot" Old Dogs is for best picture it would some how win best picture even though it's not nominated or any good for that matter.

So, just stop with the Avatar talk, please....those braided squid ponytails creep me the eff out. No more hype about what film is ahead in the Oscar "race" either. You actually influence the outcome writing all this Oscar "hype" and then we all end up being disappointed at the winners. Here's my message to Academy voters, don't listen to us critics. Use your brains and vote for what you really think deserves to win. And if you MUST listen to someone it might as well be me. Here's my one piece of advice: Don't vote for Avatar or The Blind Side, any other movie is fine, just not those two. Thanks (Smiley Face!)

3) (500) Days Of Summer wasn't snubbed.

There is a lot of "talk" out there that Summer was snubbed. It's not as good as you think it is. It's was like a film school nerd wrote a script that tried to cram in everything that he has been doodling in his composition notebook since he was 14. I do appreciate that it's trying to be different from other romantic comedies. I like how much it featured downtown L.A. And I like the karaoke singing of "Hear Comes Your Man." But just being different and having an adorable leading couple doesn't mean it's Oscar worthy. Seriously, watch it again. Not as good as you remember, is it?

4) Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was snubbed.

It was a great year for Animated movies. And Cloudy should be up there with the other best Animated Feature nominees. We need to acknowledge films like Cloudy so DreamWorks can see what a good animated movie with thoughtful characters, compelling storytelling and actual jokes looks like. I cannot bash DreamWorks Animation enough.

4.1) Also, I think Wall-e is a better movie than UP. That's right, I said it. That little robot made me cry.

Bonus Material! Here's a cool look at the numerical values "behind" the Oscars, all in an easy to use visual, with graphs and pictures and stuff. If you are invited to an Oscar party hosted by mathematicians, you are going to want to print this out and bring it with you. It's sure to impress.

Source: Business Pundit

The Tonight Show Promo With Jay Leno Should Sound More Like This

In this reedited Jay Leno Promo for his "return" to The Tonight Show they simply replaced the Beatles "Get Back" with a more appropriate song. NBC plays this promo during the Olympics non-stop which begs the question: Does NBC want every last person in this country to hate Jay Leno? Because that is what this promo is doing.

At first I was :( but then I was :D

Hear Music Now! Generationals

What album have I been listening to nonstop lately, you ask? Well I'm excited to tell you that I have been neck deep in Con Law the first album from Generationals. Two dudes from New Orleans have created an inspiring, upbeat pop album that is greatly influenced by the rock of the '50s '60s & '70s, back when pop music was good. Nowadays good pop music is "Indie." Each song on Con Law feels familiar but contemporary at the same time. "When They Fight, They Fight" is a song you know by heart even though you are listening to it for the first time. Go ahead and give them a try and I dare you not to bop your head. Listen Here.

Goin' Back To Wally World!

Vacation Is back! Variety reports that a new Vacation movie is in the works. I have to say from the details so far I am on board with this one. I'm not one to the support beating of a franchise like a redheaded-stepchild-riding-a-dead-horse, but this sounds like it could be fun. I am a huge fan of the first three vacation movies (Yes, even European Vacation) and my family, like a lot of families, is very attached to the first Vacation.

One Vote For Jack

I would recommend deleting from your mind any Vacation movies or spin-offs past "Christmas" and get a load of this...

Wally World is closing down and a grown-up Rusty is going to take his family back to the theme park for one last visit. It is speculated that Chevy Chase will reprise his role as "Grandpa" Clark Griswold. Seth Gordon, who directed the documentary The King Of Kong (See it now if you haven't) is set to direct. Jonathan Goldstien and John Francis Daley are writing. You might remember Daley from Freaks and Geeks and to a lesser extent Bones. In my head I just call him Sam. National Lampoon is not going to be apart of this one, but, really, who cares about National Lampoon anymore?

I'm pretty excited about this because it seems like this has all the ingredients for a movie that I would like. So I hope they don't screw this up. Also, I've found a new appreciation for Chevy because of his role on Community. Which , if you haven't seen yet, you should give a chance, it's a funny show and Chevy is in top form on it. (Side Note: Also Check out Modern Family and The Middle. Two new sitcoms that heavily feature the children and doesn't just focus on the parents which is something that has been missing in prime time lately. But that's a rant for another post.)

I'll leave you with one of my favorite Vacation moments. NSFW, because of foul language in one of the best speeches of all time.

It's Groundhog Day!: A Tribute to Ned Ryerson

For all of you that love the movie Groundhog Day, like I do, here are all the scenes featuring your favorite annoying ex-classmate, Ned Ryerson. Bing! Don't tell me you don't remember him because he sure as heck remembers you.




Bing, again!

Trailer: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Here's the new trailer for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Gordon Gekko is back and he looks even more ancient than his cell phone. To be honest America, I was not looking forward to this movie at all. There are a few of reasons I was not thrilled to hear there was a sequel to Wall Street coming out.

One: I liked Wall Street and I thought the statute of limitations had run out for a sequel.

Two: Money Never Sleeps is a horrible sub-title. It's just a little bit better than Wall Street 2: Pig in the City or Wall Street: The Phantom Menace.

Three: I don't want to watch Shia LaBeouf "Nononononononono" through the entire movie.

But this trailer has peeked my interest....Could this movie be any good? It does have Frank Langella in it. That's always good.

Or is this trailer just a enticing facade and have I been tricked once again by Hollywood? We will see. We will see...

Movie Poster Review: Knight and Day

Well, well, well looky what we have here. This is an interesting poster. It's different and I like that. It's Unlike the generic "Orange & Blue" posters you see all over the place now. Boooooooring!

lame

But this Knight and Day poster is different. This poster has a retro style that I can really get into...Aaaaaawwwwwwww crap!

Is Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz staring in this? That's disappointing.

Never mind then...forget I brought any of this up.

To Do List: Movies, Books, Music and Food

Sometimes we all need to be told what to do. Trying to wade through all the crap out there to find the things that are actually good or at least different is tough. Luckily I am willing to throw some recommendations your way to help you out. This is my To Do List to you.

Movie To See: The Hurt Locker

See it. It's still in some theaters and now on DVD. Then after you see it you can tell James Cameron to go to hell. This was one of the best movies this past year and it didn't need giant blue CGI people to shock and awe. It's a solid, tense action movie for people that have a hard time suspending their disbelief. The Hurt Locker stays with you for long after the credits.

If you have time, also see: Up In The Air

Book to read: Asterios Polyp by David Mazzucchelli

Technically it's a "graphic novel" but I am recommending this book to everybody. No superheros in this comic just a 50-something Greek architect from Ithaca, New York. Full of wonderful characters and design Asterios Polyp does more than tell the story of this man's mid life crisis , it examines the mysteries of life and death, design and art and a bunch of other dualities. Never read a graphic novel before? Good, start with this one.

If you have time, also read: How I Became A Famous Novelist by Steve Hely (My book club didn't like it but I laughed my ass off through most of it)

Music to listen to: Tomes

Tomes is the best band that nobody knows. Well, I want to help change that. You need to hear them because my descriptions of their music will not do them justice. Download the free EP, love it and spread the word.

If you got time: The Avett Brothers

I've mentioned them before and I'll do it again. These guys are good. They will be on Austin City limits this Saturday and I will be watching while drinking some cheap bourbon. Who wants to join me?

Food to eat: Pho

Pho, ain't nothing wrong with that!

Winter Solstice Special: Alma

Happy shortest day of the year everybody! I have an a little gift for you all on this darkest of dark days, Alma from Pixar animator Rodrigo Blaas. You need to see this award winning short, like, right now.

Alma from Rodrigo Blaas on Vimeo.

Dolls rank up there with clowns and cephalopods on my "scary" list.

Trailers: Iron Man 2 & Hot Tub Time Machine

I thought you guys would want to see these these two trailers. Iron Man 2 and Hot Tub Time Machine are nothing alike but I combine them together here in this post like pb&j. I will answer two questions right off the bat.

1) Yes, Terrence Howard is now Don Cheadle and he wears the "Black" War Machine suit. I am not going to attempt to examine if that is racist or not.

2) No, Hot Tub Time Machine does not look that funny. Hopefully I will be able to catch it on a plane or Free On Demand.





I really hope Clark Duke doesn't make out with his mom.

TAC Holiday Gift Guide!

Tis the season peeps! Hopefully you are not not scrambling to find gifts for all your loved ones/family this holiday season. If there are still a couple of people on your list left, I have a gift giving guide for you. Order these items now an you might get them delivered by Christmas... or shortly after. You really shouldn't wait this late in the month to get your gifts. Anyway, on with the The Anthropomorphic Critic Gift Guide!

For the Intellectual Cousin you hate talking to:

Penguin Books Great Idea Series:
From the site: "Penguin brings you the works of the great thinkers, pioneers, radicals and visionaries whose ideas shook civilization, and helped make us who we are."

This should shut them up for a while.


For the person who donated to a charity in your name when all you asked for was alcohol.

Coal Gram!
When you purchase the coal they donate a percentage to your choice of charity. And the recipient gets some coal for a present in a very deceiving jewelery box. They can't get mad, it's for charity. You should also recommend they donate the coal as well. What are they going to do with coal?

For your favorite avid Hunter/Taxidermist

Cardboard Animal Heads


They are really cool and guaranteed to make any house look like a log cabin in the North Woods. And it sends a message that you don't nee to decapitate animals to impress the ladies.

For your step dad who's originally from California.

The California Desk

It's $5,500 dollars. But California is a pretty awesome state and he is a pretty awesome step dad.

For your friend's little brother/sister because they are cooler than your friend (And you secretly wish you were friends with them instead).

Grizzly Adventures T-Shirt from Threadless

This is a totally rad shirt, they will love it. Your friend is going to be so jealous.


For your kinda serious girlfriend

Beaver Ring

It's not an engagement ring but it's way cuter than a promise ring or a celibacy ring.

For the doodler or emo kid or grandma

Recycled BINGO game sketchbooks

Here you go, Merry Christmas. Now go off in a corner away from me and draw or write or whatever...No, the other corner, farther away from me.

For any guy you know.

Zip Tie


Boot Knife Sock


Clipper Ship Tie
Guys are so easy to buy for.


For The Anthropomorphic Critic
Night Court Travel Bar
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease? I want it! The drinks go where I go, in style!

Whatever you do, do not get anyone you know or only sorta know this:
Stuffed Unicorn
It's just not right.


I think RUN DMC said it best:

"My name's D.M.C. with the mic in my hand
And I'm chilling and coolin just like a snowman
So open your eyes, lend us an ear
We want to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"
-Christmas in Hollis Queens

Kids In The Hall: Death Comes to Town

They're Back! They are all older and doughier but they are back!......on Canadian Television. That's close enough I guess. Most things Canadian come on down south to the States eventually. Here's a trailer for the 8-part series for the rest of us non-Canadians.

Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town - watch more funny videos

Look how young and not in drag they are! Awwwwwww

Movie Poster Review: TRON Legacy

Here's the new poster for Disney's Tron Legacy... And it lets you know everything you need to know about the movie: neon motorcycles. The producers know that the audience's favorite part of the first movie were the bikes that played like the old "Snakes" computer game. Just give the people what they want, crazy-ass bike chases with deadly walls of light.

They did not take this approach with the poster for the original movie:
This poster conveys the message that the movie is about people who worship a glowing Frisbee. This helps explain why it was a flop when it first came out. That and this guy:

You Can't defeat me, unless you are really good at "Breakout"

Original Movie Posters, Tilt Shift Disney & a list from IFC

Back when being French was cool

Pretty cool Original designed movie posters, right? You can by them Here just in time for the holidays for that person who has everything. Well Mr. or Ms. Smarty-pants, you didn't know these existed did you? Looks like you didn't have everything then , did you? Hope you enjoy. This one's cool too:

Birds

Are you guys hungry for some more tilt shift cinema? This time it comes in the form of a commercial for Disney World. It's still pretty mesmerizing and fun. It looks like stop motion, but it's real! Look:

IFC has kindly scrounged up a list of the 25 Scariest Moments in Non-Horror Movies. I had one of those "why didn't I think of that" moments. I hate those moments, but don't let that taint the list it's one of the best list in an Internet sea of lists. It has the scene where they open the Ark in Raiders of the Lost Ark. I had nightmares for weeks because of that scene. Also check out #16 Leave Her to Heaven. That movie looks messed up. Never heard of it and now it's at the top of my Netflix queue. I have a feeling I should get paid by Netfilx now...

Nightmares for weeks