December 17, 2010

Don Hertzfeldt: Wisdom Teeth

Here's a new short called Wisdom Teeth by one of my all-time favorite animators Don Hertzfeldt (of Rejected fame). I won't say too much other than it has very little to do with wisdom teeth and a lot to do with...I don't know, just watch it. I predict while watching the video below you will be like "Why am I watching this?" And then you will laugh hysterically. Or not, I don't really care. At least I had a good time.
"This is a pain of unreasonable proportions."

December 16, 2010

Kill The Irishman aka The Best Movie Title Ever

Kill the Irishman is a mobster movie that's based on a true story about an Irishman mobster who blah, blah, blah...Basically it's a movie that, when it comes out March 2011, has the potential to be good but it has two things going against it. Its poster and its trailer.

Here's my reasons why it has the potential to be good:

1) It has a cast of crazy good, and literally crazy, actors including Vincent D'Onofrio, Val Kilmer, Christopher Walken and Vinnie Jones.

2) The title is awesome.

3) It's based on a true story.

4) The opening line of the trailer: "I'm an Irish catholic with the grace of God on my shoulder. If any of these maggots from the so called mafia want to come after me, I'm not a hard man to find." Baaaaaaaad-aaaaaaaaaaaassss.

Reasons why the movie could be bad.

1) The poster looks like someones project from a night class called "Photoshop for beginners and the blind."

2)The trailer features a rap-rock track. Rap-rock. Was it originally made in 1995?

3) How many explosion are there in this trailer? Seriously, because I lose count. They could have dialed that back a bit. Just a bit.



December 10, 2010

Music Video Friday: Eskmo "We Got More"

Here is the music video for "We Got More" from Eskmo. Get a good grip on your head because you are about to loose your mind. When you got a rad video like this who cares if it's electronic music? Not me, my friends, not me.

December 8, 2010

Hollywood Is Running Out Of Taglines

Hollywood is running out of taglines. The creative well seems to be running dry when I noticed that two unreleased movies have very similar taglines. The taglines, as you will see, are simple and slightly different. But for these two soon to be widely distributed films it seem the studios didn't even try at coming up with anything resembling creative or different. Most of the time the tagline of a movie poster is laughable and forgettable but that doesn't mean they have to be.

Here look for yourself:

The tagline for Sanctum is "The only way out is down." and the tagline for Rabbit Hole is "The only way out is through." Seriously.

So, I'm guessing after the team of producers that came up with the respective taglines felt that spending 5 minutes on it was good enough and then they handed their assistants a piece of paper with "The only way through is _____" scribbled on it, then said "Send this to marketing." and took a two hour lunch.

Here are some possible better taglines for these two movies:

The only way out is in.
The only way out is pajamas.
The only way out is Lou Ferrigno.
The only way out is out.
The only way out is your mom.
The only way out is the exit on the right side of the movie screen.
The only way out is a tagline.

Please, come up with your own.

December 6, 2010

Review: I Love You Phillip Morris

A long time ago, in like February, I saw a trailer for I Love You Phillip Morris. I thought to myself, "Self, that could be a funny movie, plus it's based on a true story and you're a sucker for that kind of crap. Ah, self, you are so cool." But then it didn't come out. Eventually after several distribution problems and release delays, the movie finally made it to my small little hamlet of Los Angeles. What in the world could delay a true life con man movie starring Jim Carrey and Ewan Mcgregor? I'll give you a hint: Gay.

Oh yeah. They're gay and this is America so of course it's going to have distribution problems. They even had problems getting the movie made in the first place. Rumor is that possible producers asked for Ewan McGregor's character to be changed from male to female. But that wouldn't work for one teensy reason: It's a true story about 2 gay men you fucking morons! No you can't change the title fucking character, Phillip Morris, into a god damned woman! They meet in prison. How is that going to work if Phillip is a fucking girl? Sheeesh!

Anyway it did eventually get made and then eventually released and here's my review. It's pretty good.

Oh, you want more detail? OK then.

I Love You Phillip Morris is a too-weird-it-has-to-be-true story of a con man Steve, played by Jim Carrey, and his love affair with Phillip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor. I'm not going to go into too much plot description here because the film itself doesn't delve too deep into the details of the story itself. Which I feel is a flaw in a movie that is supposed to have "really happened." The who, what, when, where and whys are secondary to a love story about the extremes a man would go through for the person he loves.

Ultimately it's a bittersweet, gay, screwball romantic comedy. And that's all really. It's not subversive or incendiary. It's not really radical in any way. It's nothing that would warrant the production or distribution problems it supposedly had. The movie isn't Oscar worthy either, except for maybe Jim Carrey's performance. It's just a sweet, quirky, funny movie that just happens to have a lot of blow jobs.

The movie centers on Steve McVicker who is played by Jim Carrey. And by "centered" I mean he is the movie. He carries the movie. Other actors like Ewan McGregor and Leslie Mann are barely in it. This was a wise choice by the filmmakers because Steve is a pretty narcissistic guy and it makes sense that the film should revolve around him. I'm not a Jim Carrey fan but this film gives him space to do his Jim Carrey thing and the result is hilarity. The movie reminds you that he is a funny and talented actor. It could have been easy for me to hate the rather selfish criminal character Steve, but Jim fearlessly portrays him with heart and bravado. Ewan McGregor is pretty good too.

So, I recommend I Love You Phillip Morris to you dear blog readers. If you are looking for a funny film about a con man whose love, and actual person, a prison system couldn't hold then you will not be disappointed. I do not recommend this movie to your grandma or to Texans. It makes fun of Texas pretty bad.

December 3, 2010

Back to the Future Video Game Trailer

Below is the trailer for the new five part Back to the Future video game, the first chapter will be coming out this month. (Insert your favorite BTTF quote here. )I am going to go with..."Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her! " -George McFly. I picked this quote because I have to wonder if there will be a farcical incest storyline in the game. Also the faux Crispin Glover voice over in the trailer is creeeeeeepy. But mostly I'm excited to play a game with a Huey Lewis heavy soundtrack. I seriously am.

I am totally going back in time.

December 2, 2010

Well I hope this sticks around for a while: Fake Criterions

Some mad genius has a tumblr account and is making fake Criterion covers of not so worthy movies. I want this to go on for a long time, considering the endless resources of movies they have at their disposal and how much I am enjoying them. Take a look at the ones I have here, quietly laugh to yourself, and then check out more of them here.

Thank god for film geeks. Effen-A, man, effen-a.