May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day: Bill Murray's Speech From 'Stripes' and 'Scott Pilgrim' Trailer

As you throw back a couple of hot dogs and beers today, remember those who have given their lives in service to this great country of ours. I like to celebrate with one of my favorite speeches from the movie Stripes, where Bill Murray rally's his troops with an impetuous, yet inspiring, speech about being an American solider.

"It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world." I really hate how the second half of this movie turns into "Full Metal Jacket" with a RV future-weapon. It's like if the frat from Animal House all end up in Vietnam at the end.

This was not a good Idea.

And in a holiday non sequitur, they have released the first full length trailer for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I'm calling it now... One: this will be the hit of the summer, mostly because this summer it shaping up to be pretty lame. Two: This movie is a game changer, we will see imitators in the near future.

May 29, 2010

Dennis Hopper: 1936-2010

Dennis Hopper died Today at the age of 74 and he definitely lived one hell of a life. Not only was he an accomplished actor (I'm going to list some movies off here: Rebel Without a Cause, Giant, Easy Rider, Andy Warhol's Screen Tests, True Grit, Apocalypse Now, Hoosiers, Blue Velvet, True Romance, Speed and don't forget he was King Koopa In Super Mario Brothers) Dennis was also a prolific painter and photographer. He might have been "a pain in the neck to work with" (according to David Thomson) but he was an artist that Hollywood badly needed and I doubt anyone will be able to fill the void that his death leaves behind.

Dennis Hopper has a lot of famous and memorable scenes from a long list of good movies but my favorite line of all time comes from Blue Velvet.

It was between this and "Pop-quiz hotshot!"

May 28, 2010

My Favorite Monologues: Say Anything: Sell, Buy, Process

If there was a speech that epitomized the stereotypes attached to Generation X it is La-Lloyd Dobler's explanation of his future plans to Diane Court's father. But this monologue from Say Anything is also the voice of the idyllic youth that resides in all of us. When I first saw this movie I thought "That's what I want to do too! Except for the kick boxing thing." Lloyd, in a very ballsy move, lays his heart on the table in a innocent, straightforward way that we all wish we could sometimes do. I have quoted it ever since.

Hey, remember Ione Skye? Pretty hot nerd.

May 25, 2010

My Favorite Monologues: The Goonies: This Is Our Time

Get excited readers because The Anthropomorphic Critic is bringing you a new feature! I will be sharing some of my favorite monologues from my favorite movies, in no particular order... because that would take some sort of planing.

We all need a little inspiration now and then, so to kick it off is a gem from The Goonies where Mikey convinces the other Goonies (even Andy who says she's not a Goonie) to not be rescued by future-date-rapist Troy and continue with their adventure. Who knew an asthmatic could give such a compelling speech?

"Troy's Bucket" sounds like one of those things, you know, like a "Rusty Trombone" or a "Mexican Halloween."

May 24, 2010

The Lost Finale Reviewed by a Guy Who Only Watched The First Season

I watched the Lost finale last night. It was the first time I had seen an episode of Lost since the end of season one. I know, I know, it's like I planned it, right? Anyway here's my review: I don't get it.

Just Kidding. I got it. Apparently I understood the finale of Lost better than most "Losties" or "Lost Folk" according to their comments and tweets. Some didn't understand the church or the ending at all. This might be because I'm coming into it with a blank slate. That, and I don't have any sort of theories that I have been obsessing over for six years that turned out to be totally wrong.

Honestly though, I wish one of the mysteries of Lost was what my fiancee has always said was on the island (and I secretly hoped was true): Mechanical dinosaurs. How much cooler is a mechanical dinosaur than a smoke monster? Way cooler.

I will tell you here I like the show (remember I've only seen the first season and the finale). I like it mainly because it was different, defyingly so. And I respect that more than any answered questions or loose ends.

Here's some highlights:

The "Final Transmissions" that played during the finale of people saying goodbye to the show really depressed me. Especially the one about the couple who picked their wedding date based on the sum of the numeric code. I really could have done without this information or any of these people's goodbyes. Keep it to yourself, nerds.

I just found out who Jacob is. I instantly don't like him, he's kinda a douche.

Locke's been an evil smoke monster for two seasons? Now I'm glad I didn't watch season five.

It's 9:20 pm and I have no idea what's going on.

I hate vague dialog. Whenever a character had an "awakening" they start talking like a Scientologists. It's really annoying.

Around 10:00 pm I start to wonder if the finale is answering all the questions Lost fans have. I also need another beer.

How did Ben get out from under the fallen tree? He seems ok too. Wouldn't he be kinda hurt, like spinally?

The "Hell Cork" is pretty lame. I would like to hear a good argument in support of the Hell Cork because I can't imagine anybody liking that thing. Might as well of been one of those bathtub stoppers or a bottle cap.

I liked the resolution of the "flash-sideways." It seems to be a good and encompassing explanation to what was going on with this alternate reality. An eternal meeting place is a nice idea and it's made even better by not being on the island. It's not purgatory and that makes me happy.

How come I had to watch Jimmy Kimmel Live to find out where the hell Michael was? The only funny "alternate ending" was the Bob Newhart one. Mainly because I like Bob Newhart.

Overall I thought thought is was a solid finale that left you with a feeling of closure for the show even though it didn't answer every question or tie up all the loose ends. I'm just assuming though, I only watched the first season. I'm now off to read some Lost slash/fan fiction where Locke and Ben end up together and open a resort on the island. With mechanical dinosaurs.

C'mon! You know this would have been awesome. Rrrrrawwwwwor!

May 19, 2010

A Video of Orphaned Sloths. You heard me.

Sloth in a box

Sloths are one of my favorite animals. Here is an irresistible video of sloths being slothy and adorable.

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

May 6, 2010

Television is a Drug

...And don't I know it. Todd Alcott's poem Television gets the video treatment by Beth Fulton. It's pretty straight, don't look over there, look at! (via Vimeo)

Television is a drug. from Beth Fulton on Vimeo.

May 5, 2010

Better Watch Your Back Arizona, Danny Trejo is Pissed:The Machete Trailer

It seems Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniqui's new Mexplotation film Machete could not have had better timing in releasing it's first official trailer. Arizona's new (racist) anti illegal immigration law has given this faux Grindhouse movie a new socially relevant political slant. Whoever came up with the opening of this trailer (hopefully Danny Trejo) is a genius.

So sit back and enjoy the first official Trailer to Machete, staring Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert DeNiro, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Rose McGowan, Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez and Steven Seagal. Happy Cinco De Mayo!
(Via TDW)

In sadder news, They are making a new Die Hard. Remember how Live Free or Die Hard wasn't really a Die Hard film at all? It was just an unrelated story with a character whose name was also John McClane. It also didn't have blood or swear words. Let's hope this one at least has swear words. Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.